MANAGEMENT: EFFECTIVE CEOs HAVE STRONG SENIOR TEAMS

As an executive coach and organization development consultant, I’ve watched both winners and losers.  Whenever I’m asked to assess the performance of a CEO, I review the quality of his/her senior team.  

A major factor in senior team development is the CEO not allowing direct reports to slip off the hook—always holding them responsible and expecting performance. Holding toes to the fire and resisting the urge to bail out marginal performers makes for strong teams.  It’s not unlike the tough love strategy some parents use to help children understand that there are consequences to the choices they make.

Managers can learn from parental tough Love

Coping with life’s hectic pace is challenging. As a parent, I know the agony associated with watching children leave the nest unprepared (an opinion they never shared.)  There are many pitfalls and traps along the way and I wanted desperately to protect them from making serious mistakes.  They wanted to leave before I felt they were ready and I tried to hang on long after they’d gone.  The truth is, once children reach mid teens; you no longer have control.  They are like arrows; you sharpen, aim and provide thrust but once you let go of the string…they’re on their way.  The most effective safety net for children is a set of core values and exposure to a family and friends that set good examples.  But sometimes even the best preparations fail and a loved one will engage in potentially destructive behaviors.

When all else fails, a support process called tough love is designed to help.   Tough love means affording people you really care about, the dignity of choosing their own way; even when you believe the path they are selecting to be wrong or dangerous. It can be a successful intervention for people incapable of learning without the direct pain of personal experience.  The most difficult part of tough love is standing back and allowing the hurting person to bear the full consequence when their actions go wrong.

The mindset “let go and let God”, helps people muster the courage to begin tough love and it helps them maintain sufficient trust to hold ground once the going gets difficult.  To make tough love work, the first thing you need to know about God is, “you ain’t him.”  Avoid the natural urge to protect and control young adults.  Long term benefits seldom occur from interfering with the life choices of others.  Meddling often has the opposite effect because it can encourage a struggling youth to continue the dysfunction long after they would have stopped had they been left to their own devices.